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I am COLD today. I've been at my desk shivering away. I told this to my office manager Sharon, who sits a little ways away from me. She has a thermometer at her desk and told me it was 73. I told her I was freezing. She brought the thermometer over and IT LIES! IT LIIIIIIIIIIIES!! There is NO WAY it is almost 74 degrees at my desk.

Currently I have been placing the thermometer in stratigic locations all over my desk, at different hights as well. I have been documenting the gradual rise and fall of the temp. I have a spreadsheet. From the data I have gathered I can conclude only one thing:

I am completely batfuck crazy The thermometer is broken.

Went to target last night and bought a crock pot, a new cutting board, a swiffer wet jet, and some air freshener refills. My place now smells like lilac instead of cat litter.

I can't wait to use my crock pot. Tonight I am going grocery shopping and I'll be experimenting with it this week. Be sure to tune into to what will probably go down in history as the best crock pot blunders EVAR. It's bound to happen. This is me after all.

Also - I'm interested in trying eggplant for no reason except that Alton Brown loves it and he made it look tasty.

But in other news, the Fall to Rival All Falls (which is what I'm naming this autumn) is still kicking ass. The election is a week away, my friend Graham will be visiting me sometime in November, Fiddler's Green is creeeeeeeeeping up, and I've actually been cleaning for the arrival of my family for thanksgiving.

Seriously, if I were you, I would envy me.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Eggplant is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. When Vver and I went to the olive garden on sweetest day I had eggplant, and I had totally forgotten how much I loved it. Maybe I just love breaded vegetables? I used to pan fry my own cucumbers...
hahahhaha I'd love to have breaded ANYTHING at this point, but I'm trying my best to stay on the south beach diet :)

By the way, what DOES eggplant taste like?

BY the by - you aren't allowed to be angry at my away messages when YOU are NEVER online!!!
How do you put a giraffe in a refridgerator?
take the elephant out first?
The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend...
except one ..
Which animal does not attend?
I have NO clue...
The giraffe...he's in the fridge.
you come to a river that is known to be a home for ferocious, man eating crocodiles. How do you get across the river?
swim, all the crocs are at the conference.
Why to delephants paint their toe nails red?
Um...why?
to hide in the raspberry bushes!
hrm...okay.
do you see any elephants in raspberry bushes?
On a general basis...no.
well see! It works!
*snickers* Sick, Meg, just sick. :P
Okay, another elephant joke....sorta...it's long though...

A toad goes to see wizard for some help. He goes into the office and says "Wizard, you HAVE to help me!"
"What's wrong?" asks the wizard.
"WEll, I'm a toad, I'm green, but...you see...my penis is BRIGHT PINK!" he shows his dayglo member to the wizard who is quite taken aback.
"It's horrible!" cries the toad. "I can't get dates, all the girl toads laugh at me, I...I just don't know what to do! You have to help me!"
The wizzard looks at the shockingly pink phallus, raises his hands and says "ALAKAFIZZLE!" There's a puff of smoke and the toad looks down. Much to his chagrin, his penis, while no longer pink, is now a hideous shade of yellow!
"Aaaaugh!" yells the toad, "You've made it WORSE!"
The wizard shrugs and says "That's all I can do - why don't you see the other wizard. He can help you. Just go out the door, down the hall, third door on your left."
The toad agrees and leaves.

Moments later, an elephant walks into the office with the EXACT same problem. The wizard looks at, once again, a glowing pink penis, raises his arms and says "ALAKAFIZZLE!" The elephant looks down and trumpets out his anguish when he sees his horrible yellow penis and demands that the wizard fixes him.
"Sorry, bub, I can't help you. Why don't you go see the other wizard?"
"Alright," says the Elephant, "how did I get there?"
"Just follow the yellow dicked toad."
OMG...that's hilarious. =)
Isn't it? One of my favorite jokes of all time :)
Dude, be careful with those bats, they'll give you rabies!
but...but I like me some rabies!
I just finished catching up on the blog o' tards. I think my new favorite line is "John Goodman called me Toots!"

Wow..incredible!