1. Opera Singer - 4:06
And every single morning
By 10 am I'm dressed

Marion said we should just start calling Salt House "Margaret House" because that's pretty much where I'm working all the time. I would be working there now but I got a call at about 11am asking if I could go home and then come back to Town Hall to work 5-10. I said sure, it's not like I really have much of a night life and I can bring my crocheting with me.

2. Meanwhile, Rick James - 3:57
Disempowered
The scattering flock
Dances in a fever
At the Castle Rock

Once again, my body aches to dance. I need to find some live music and grove down. I have always felt the pull of gravity, my body too heavily tied to the earth. It's one of the reasons I have always liked swimming - the feeling of freedom and weightlessness. The closest thing I have come to finding that same feeling - freedom of movement, freedom from the pressure - is when I'm dancing. This needs to be remedied.

3. Shadow Stabbing - 3:07
Somebody has got to say it all
Is it sad that when I read Transmetropolitan I feel a sense of hope? Is it scary that I am totally in love with Spider Jerusalem? Perhaps it's because I identify with his connection to The City. When he talks about it I know what he means because I feel it here. Somehow I am connected to the streets that I walk every day, the strangers I ride with on the trains, the sleeping homeless I pass at night on my way to the station. Or maybe it's his wild passion for writing, balls to the walls in furious run-on sentences that make me want to run and catch up to them before they get too far ahead. As my body aches to dance, my mind aches to write and I haven't given myself the time to do that, to sit down and just babble on paper for 20 minutes or so.

4. Short Skirt/Long Jacket - 3:24
I want a girl with a shirt skirt and a looooooooooooooooong jacket
I need to talk to Margo and Dr. Bell at OTC this week about starting the whole process of re-alimentating. I had a lapse last night but stopped myself before it got too bad (Kevin, I owe you 2 corn tortillas). As I sat there and thought about why I just HAD TO HAVE those tortillas, I listened to what my body was saying. I've been walking more. I've been controlling to an insane amount what I eat, I will have been doing this for 10 solid months as of the 4th of July. Mentally, I know that I am ready to start the next step. I need to start learning how to eat like a healthy person. I'm at about 175lbs, a weight I never thought I'd see. Even if, according to the BMI, I'm still about 20lbs overweight, I can be like the rest of the human population who just wants to lose 20lbs. And I could do that with healthy eating, daily exercise, and a positive additude. But I know I need to start this soon or else I'm going to snap and I'm afraid my next binge will not stop at two corn tortillas.

5. Commissioning A Symphony in C - 2:59
You've entered the room with great caution
Though no one in the hall is even watching

So I have this addiction. It's a really silly addiction, but it's there nonetheless. I am addicted to craigslist missed connections. I read them all - M4M, W4W, M4W, W4M, it doesn't matter. Some of them are desperate shots in the dark, a last chance at a fleeting glimpse of a person they saw on the train, some of them are just little snippets of poetry - anonymous self publications of poets whose audience is people like me, voyeuristically looking at lonely people through the tinted glass windows of web browsers. I will admit that sometimes I hope that a description will match mine and that some person was taken in by my smile or my walk or something about me and is trying to find me in the city where, eventually, you will run into the same four people over and over again.

6. ARCO Arena - 1:31
Musical Interlude

7. Comfort Eagle - 3:40
Doesn't matter if you're skinny
Doesn't matter if you're fat
You can dress up like a sultan
In your onion head hat

Cake is the best music to walk to. I've been listening to nothing BUT Cake for the past few days on my iPod. Maybe it's the beat, maybe it's the lyrics, but whatever it is 45 minutes can go by and I won't have realized that I've just walked two miles (like I did today). If ever I were to have the option for walk in music (you know, like what they play when a batter steps up to the plate or something like that) Cake would be it.

8. Long Line of Cars - 3:23
You don't wonder where we're going
Or remember where we've been
We've got to keep this traffic
Flowing and accept a little spin

I do feel like I've stalled out. I am waiting for classes to start up and that won't be for two more months at least. It's the whole reason why I came out here and the wait is killing me, eating at my soul. I want to get going, I want to learn, to write, to talk and discuss. I need it and I crave it, more than I crave a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (which, by the way, I have been having dreams of. Oh dear god yes. Screw sex dreams, let me dream for hours on end of the never ending, perfectly created peanut butter and jelly sandwich). I know that moving out as early as I did was the best plan in the world, but I am anxiously awaiting the start of New College.

9. Love You Madly - 3:57
I don't want to wonder if this is a blunder
I don't want to worry whether we're gonna stay together
'Til we die
I don't want to jump in unless this music's thumping
All the dishes rattle in the cupboards
When the elephants arrive

The plus side of having friends with disasterous relationships is that I now know what I DON'T want in a relationship. Sara and I were talking about it and I have seen so many BAD relationships in the past 8 years that it's nice to see HEALTHY relationships. Granted, not everything in the world will be happy smiling bunnies and flowers - fights happen because people are people, but it sure as hell doesn't all have to be fights and cheating and bi-polarness of love and hate and love again and hate some more, walking on a thin line of "so where exactly do we stand now?". In the end, though, to each their own - what makes one person truly happy is not the same for another, but it does give me something to reflect on when I finally have my own relationship. You know, whenever that might be.

10. Pretty Pink Ribbon - 3:08
Without the tight little denim
Your virtues would all go unknown

Okay guys - what do you think is more annoying? Fat people who think they are thin, or thin people who think they are fat? Let's be shallow and realistic here, tell me what you think.

11. World of Two - 3:40
There's only room for you
In your world of two

Okay, time to go pay some bills and crochet like a mad woman. The scarf is really coming along and I am wondering what my next project will be. It's summer in San Francisco. Maybe I should make a sweater and keep myself warm. Or try an afghan or something. Anyways, I'm out.