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Maybe Minnesota nice has been rubbing off on me, I don't know.

Over the past few months there have been some posts on my friends pages where everybody else agrees with them and I sit there thinking "get OVER yourselves." But I don't do anything about it. There once was a time where I would have no issue saying that to a person and would be ready to debate about it. I felt confident in my opinions. I was ready to voice my thoughts. Now I don't.

Maybe I'm just growing up or some shit like that. Maybe I'm "maturing" and I don't feel the need to correct people. But holy god, there have been some pretty self rightious posts and I've just been "you know what, no - I just don't care." But I do - it eats away at me. Like, how can I let these people go on thinking like that. Do they HEAR what they are saying? Actually hear it? And then everybody else is like "OMG - you said what I've been thinking for like, EONS" or "You're so right, my god you're so right." Everybody is giving these great, glowing remarks and I sit there, fingers itching to be all "dude, you're wrong. Get off your high fucking horse." But I don't.

I don't know if it's because I'm too polite to make a comment like that on someone's personal space (but I wouldn't have a problem saying it to them in person) or if I just don't want the backlash. Either way what's eating at me is the fact that I care that I don't care. I'm one big walking hypocrite or somthing like that.

Oh, and this post isn't meant to be cryptic or shit like that. I don't want anybody getting mad at me or start being all "what, bitch has a problem with my views? Why don't bitch come out and SAY those problems, huh? huh?" And that's just the whole thing - I don't want to discuss this shit on your guys journals. If you said it to me in person, that'd be different. And don't get me wrong, I love reading my friends list - it keeps me occupied during the slow time at work and I know that if I had a major issue with any of this crap I could just defriend people (omg - it's such social no-no to do that! But I'm sure most of you have your own filtered friends list - it's a way for you to read those who you want but not others and it solves the unsighty business of deleteing someone.).

I'm just wondering where the fuck my spine went.
I just wish I had the spine to stand up and accept whatever happens when I DO go off. Like, I just don't want to start a huge flame-a-thon because I might disagree with someone (and I realize that assuming that I could do that is kinda arrogent on my behalf). I've heard too many stories about friendships breaking up because someone posted something that got back to someone else and then people got angry names were called, trump cards of "well, I guess i know who my REAL friends are" get played and it's just too much of a hassle.

LJ shouldn't be a drama-fest waiting to happen, but it is. I wish (and I really do wish this, how sad is that?) that I could just let it happen and not care.
Post anonymously or just don't respond to comments in which people clearly want to argue. Just ignore them and be like, "I've said my piece," and no one can argue with that.

But I totally know what you mean about relationships being fucked because of lj. Last winter I got dumped by a guy I really liked because he read an entry of mine in which I said shit in the heat of the moment that I didn't really mean. I try to think twice now.
I strongly dislike anonmous posting because, really, I would say some of these things to people's faces if I were ingaged in conversation with them.

And it's so funny - I used to joke about how LJ was a cult, and I totally thought the community was cool. And it is cool, but right now I'm starting to think that it's spawned this wierd set of internet manners. Like, how far is too far? How worked up am I (or they) going to get about a post? I care too much about it already and what's sad is that it's not unusual for this to happen - at some point everybody experiences this feeling that LJ is beyond a journal and now it's something bigger. I mean, if I hated it I wouldn't type in it, that's for sure. But it's like this weird addiction.

We're all just a bunch of voouyers in the end. SIck, sick, vouyers. AND I AM QUEEN OF THEM ALL! (yeah, not so much)