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Maybe Minnesota nice has been rubbing off on me, I don't know.

Over the past few months there have been some posts on my friends pages where everybody else agrees with them and I sit there thinking "get OVER yourselves." But I don't do anything about it. There once was a time where I would have no issue saying that to a person and would be ready to debate about it. I felt confident in my opinions. I was ready to voice my thoughts. Now I don't.

Maybe I'm just growing up or some shit like that. Maybe I'm "maturing" and I don't feel the need to correct people. But holy god, there have been some pretty self rightious posts and I've just been "you know what, no - I just don't care." But I do - it eats away at me. Like, how can I let these people go on thinking like that. Do they HEAR what they are saying? Actually hear it? And then everybody else is like "OMG - you said what I've been thinking for like, EONS" or "You're so right, my god you're so right." Everybody is giving these great, glowing remarks and I sit there, fingers itching to be all "dude, you're wrong. Get off your high fucking horse." But I don't.

I don't know if it's because I'm too polite to make a comment like that on someone's personal space (but I wouldn't have a problem saying it to them in person) or if I just don't want the backlash. Either way what's eating at me is the fact that I care that I don't care. I'm one big walking hypocrite or somthing like that.

Oh, and this post isn't meant to be cryptic or shit like that. I don't want anybody getting mad at me or start being all "what, bitch has a problem with my views? Why don't bitch come out and SAY those problems, huh? huh?" And that's just the whole thing - I don't want to discuss this shit on your guys journals. If you said it to me in person, that'd be different. And don't get me wrong, I love reading my friends list - it keeps me occupied during the slow time at work and I know that if I had a major issue with any of this crap I could just defriend people (omg - it's such social no-no to do that! But I'm sure most of you have your own filtered friends list - it's a way for you to read those who you want but not others and it solves the unsighty business of deleteing someone.).

I'm just wondering where the fuck my spine went.
I just wish I could gain my tactfulness back - that's one of the issues I'm having. I'd love to respond to these people, but when I do, I come off sounding really dumb - and really, that's not who I am.

And totally - I've written small books in other people's journals, and I think that maybe it's rude of me to do so. I don't mind when others do it in my LJ - but then I really like to read and get stuff in my email box. But yeah, sometimes I like to open it up to others.
You could try typing up your comment and then copying and pasting it over to notepad. Reread it, then save it, and open it up again later when you aren't still worked up over it. Read it through and try to be objective. Would someone reading this get the wrong idea? Do you sound like a dork? If so, move things around, edit yourself. The digital medium is wonderful that way--we get lots of chances to mean what we say before we even say it!
And some of the problem to that is that I'm at work durring most prime LJ commenting time. I feel bad enough as it is using time to update my LJ (but not too bad).

Once upon a time I didn't need to do that, or - perhaps I didn't care of what I wrote. A friend of mine said that perhaps I am becoming "more graceful" and thus I am starting to care more about what I say and whether or not I should say it.
Hmm. I think it is a mixture of both, more than likely. On the one hand, age teaches you tact and diplomacy. But on the other, age also makes you realize that the only person you can live for is yourself.