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Whatever happened to casual dating?

Like - once upon a time it was common to go out with different people during the week and such. It was expected. There wasn't anything binding. Just two people, having a good night then maybe a little bit of action later on.

Now it's become the moment you go on a date the relationship becomes completely binding and exclusive. It seems like the term "Dating" has been replaced with "Going Steady."

So what happened? When did that shift in dating happen?
 
 
 
 
 
 
Because when you try casual dating like I do, you end up with FREAKS! FREAKS!

Laura and I are casually dating and look how hellish that has been. :-P
but isn't there a part of casual dating that means that any freak you date once you can then not see again?

What I Think happened is that Laura wanted committed relationship, you wanted casual dating and now it's just all gone wonky :-P
No. Laura wanted casual dating too. She mentioned it a lot.

There's just a lot of emotion between us. We both want more than casual, but we know it's not a good idea.
But see - if she only wanted casual dating, why did she get really tweaky like and demand to get the title of "dating" or "couple"?

I don't know - it's like now the title of "dating" means exclusive. If you just hang out with a person and get some action, what's that? It used to be dating and now it's friends with benifits.
HAHAHAH you need a restraining order.
I don't know when it happened, but it really sucks that it did.
I agree :(

All of our terms for relationships are really wonky now.
DATING HAS BEEN REPLACED BY CASUAL SEX!!
I think I agree with you sorta.

I think that we bring sex way too quickly into the relationship and then it's all "OMG - I slept with you! We must be serious!"

I mean sure, some guys are looking just to get laid and move on. But some guys are playing the field just as much as anybody else. It just feels like there's this rush to get to know people and start seeing each other exclusivly.

"Okay, I know I've only know you for 5 days, and we slept with each other once. I think we should be exclusive now."
My statement was partly tongue-in-cheek. Maybe I should have said...

SEX HAS REPLACED EVERYTHING! SEX SEX SEXSEXSEX!!!
I CONCUR! It sucks I want casual dating to make an appearance again...like 80's fashion.
Friends don't let friends wear 80's fashion.
OMG yes, just put me back in Sixteen Candles. Wait, that had casual sex, too. DAMMIT!
sounds like your post was taken from sex & the city.

Everyone just wants to be loved! :3
LOL - I've never watched Sex and the City, so if I'm plagerising, it's all by accident!

I Think every body just wants a warm bed at night :-P
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Three dates?

Man that's cutting it close.

"Okay, the three dates are up. I'd like you to fill out this little quiz I've prepared for you to see if this moves onto the next level of relationships. It is an open note quiz and you have ten minutes. GO!"
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so does the progression go from casual dating - > friends with benifits - > exclusive relationship?

I think it comes down to what a person is looking for. If they are looking for an exclusive relationship (let's use a definition of: Romantically involved, not seeing any one else, a commitment to see only that person) then casual dating wouldn't work because they have this mind set of "I'm looking for one person - omg I now have 3."

If a person was looking for casual dating (definition: someone to go to events with, maybe some action, but the understanding that there is no real commitment to this particular person) then multiple people for different dates is good.

Then the sex card gets played, and I feel this is where friends with benifits comes in. Now you have to be more careful because there are more dangers when you sleep with someone. There are also (generally speaking) more emotions tied up on the female side (many women, though not all, feel that if a guy sleeps with her, that means she's desireable). This is sorta why "fuck buddies" never work.

I may be way off base with this, it's just observations right now. What do you feel are the definitions and progressions?
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Fuck, I sure would like to know. Casual dating is totally where it's at. But now it's as though casual sex/hook-ups have replaced the actual DATING aspect of it. It's either you're single or attached. DAMN IT. What if you just want to "see" somebody but not exclusively that person? WE NEED TO BRING BACK THE ART OF CASUAL DATING!

P.S. I am so sorry that I haven't been able to get out and have coffee with you. I have Thursday night free after 9:30 if you're interested. I'd LOVE to catch up with you Meg! Let me know. :)
So what happened? When did that shift in dating happen?

When people started getting older and desperate.

But I feel your pain. Asking certain people out to dinner is tantamount to a marriage proposal, it seems. Example: I met a girl a few months back and we made plans to go out despite the fact that she was moving in three weeks. A day after making the plans, she calls back to cancel, saying she doesn't want to start anything. I mean, damn, all I was hoping for was some good conversation with a cute girl, but evidently that is starting something.

I will admit, however, that I never knew what all the terms meant. There are too many subtleties between "dating," "going out," "together," and whatever. It's confusing and I tend to screw it all up frequently.
Hmm. . .coming from someone who was known for the casual hookup in my formative years, I must chime in.

With people our age, it seems like the pressure is on to get married as soon as possible. Look at the alumni news they mail us, and every month its like I see people from the classes below me getting married right after school, or peopel from our age group having kids.

Everyone is so young. . . .granted, not much older than our parents generation, and then before us, BUT I feel so awkward being single and 25. Sometimes I feel the need to just date someone so I have someone to talk to when its couples night out and you're sitting there, holding ur wanker.

You get these looks from some people, like "Why don't u have a serious relationship?" when I mention being single. its' like I need to have a bastard child and a starter marriage to fit in with my coworkers :-p