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Someone told me recently that the fact that I’ve moved from one place to another is just me running from people, running from friends, running from family, running from my problems and that I’m just too afraid to be situated for very long, too afraid to let people get close to me.

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard before.

If I were afraid to let people close to me, I would have severed ALL ties that I had with people back in Green Bay. I would never go back there, never talk to anybody, stop supporting EC, stop thinking of my friends. I moved not because I was becoming too close to people, but because I knew that if I had stayed in Green Bay I would have never taken the next step in my personal growth and independence.

The first winter I spent in Minneapolis was devastatingly hard for me. I was crazy. I was seriously sick in the head and I took my frustrations out on other people, and for that I am sorry. But if at any point at all I thought that my move was a bad decision, I could have moved back to Green Bay or back to California. However, even though I was lonesome and angry, I knew that I had maid the right choice by living in Minneapolis. I have never regretted living here.

This past month I’ve gotten to show a good friend and my family around the city that I love so very much. I got to share with them favorite places in the city, I opened up my home to them, introduced them to people I know. I felt proud, like I was showing off a new car or toy. This is something that I’m proud of.

I do think, sometimes, about what would have happened if I stayed in Green Bay, or even if I stayed in Davis. I’m sure that there would have been adventures and new people, new friends and new stories. But I look at the friends I’ve made here, the stories I have now, and I couldn’t trade them up for a shot of what might have been. I couldn’t trade up all I’ve learned in a year and a half for staying in a comfort bubble.

I will admit that moving is not for everybody, and I will admit that there’s nothing wrong with that. Some people are really attached to their home towns and cities not just because of their family and friends, but because the city is who they are. And when I look at my friends who have stayed, most of them (with very few exceptions) have lived independent lives after high school and college, continuing to progress without having to move. Some people are able to do this, and I’m very happy for them and have NO feelings of “oh, well THEY didn’t move! THEY don’t know what it’s like!” mainly because they’ve been moving personally, not physically. However, I do have friends back in Davis who just haven’t moved…ever…and I worry about them.

Comparing myself this winter to the person I was last winter, I’ve made some serious progress in who I am. Now that my mad season is over, I am looking forward to spending quality time with people in the cities who I feel that I have been neglecting due to the craziness of the past few months. Coffee with MA, shopping with Timmy, welcoming home Pearl, and maybe having a holiday party for my friends here, the friends I’ve made in the past year and a half who have welcomed me into their city, welcomed me into their lives, and for that I am ever grateful.

I’m starting to comfortably settle in Minneapolis. If I was afraid, if I was a runner, I wouldn’t be able to do that. There may be reasons for me to move again, reasons for me to leave, but running from people, running from problems isn’t one of them.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Yeah, of ALL the people I know, I do not see you as being the one who runs from problems. Besides, Green Bay is NOT a city that is known for its "upwardly mobile" individuals. Even though I loved the area a lot, I doubt I would have felt right staying there. I have more opportunities out in St. Paul, and even then, who knows where I'll be in 5-10 years? To be honest, when I first went off to college, I was running from some small problems, but even in small town Green Bay, I had to confront them all over again. And BIG, which I'm sure you can relate to, will always be a group I can relate to and bond with, so I'll keep coming back.
Let's not forget that this was all after you told this "someone" that their entire life experiences were worth much less than yours because he/she has only lived in 2 states, not three. Don't "laugh" / "comment" if you're not going to add the whole thing Meg. Drunk or not, you were a real bitch that night.
I still hold that my life is more experienced than yours, but for other reasons that I don't need to bring up here.

I brought up this point because you made it and it does stand alone without having to bring in the background story, UNLESS you said it only in an attempt to make me mad.

Am I sorry for what I said that night? Eh, not so much. I'm brutally honest and lose all tact when drunk. It's up to you on how much stock you put into it.
Well. . . .sometimes moving on is the only path to growth. I remember leaving Mundelein to go to Green Bay for school, and then leaving it for Mundelein once more, I can sympathize with your situation.

sometimes being in the unfamiliar, being way from everything you know, is the best.

And sometimes I look back at the people who stayed in GB. . .and we know who they are. . .sometimes when I go back up and they're still at the same bars, schmoozing with the same people, and rehashing the same stories . . .it's sad. Sometimes I think you need to experience life somewhere else in order to become the person you're going to wind up as.
Someone told me recently that the fact that I’ve moved from one place to another is just me running from people, running from friends, running from family, running from my problems and that I’m just too afraid to be situated for very long, too afraid to let people get close to me.

That seems like a really strange thing for someone who actually knows you to say. You are stable in Minneapolis right now, with your own condo that you BOUGHT (which is not an investment for the fickle), and maintain friendships with those in places where you have lived. Moving around DOES NOT mean you are running away. As someone who has lived in 4 different locations in two countries, I have to say that where I have lived has played a large part in shaping who I am today. I'm not going to elaborate here because it's going to turn into a huge ramble, but I will say that I have FAR from broken all ties...in fact, in some ways it has made personal ties grow stronger...I simply have 4 places now that feel like home to me. Often, moving around and experiencing life in different places, whether it be halfway across the state, the country, or the world, is wonderful for personal growth...and it does NOT mean that you have run away from the previous location.
Just adding my two cents.

One of the main deciding factors in going to college out of state was the fact that'd I'd have to grow. I knew that if I stayed in MN, even if I went up north, I'd still be pretty much the same person after four years. But I'm proud to say that in the last two and a half years I've grown a lot. A lot. I think that going to school out here was one of the best things I've ever done. There's just something about picking up everything and moving to a place where you don't know anybody. It forces you to go beyond the normal comfort barrier. It made me expand who I was. Probably not for everybody but it was really what I needed to do. And I'm done.