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seventyeleventy feels that not enough people understand that hate that is puppies. Specifically how annoyingly cute they are.

If one more person goes on this whole “OMG puppies ARE TEH KEWT!” I think I might hurt them. Badly. Possibly with a chainsaw, maybe with a blender. I don’t know. What I DO know is that puppies are nothing more that horrible guilt trippers and I fucking HATE guilt trippers. Really, look at them. With their big eyes and their adorable little faces, floppy woppy ears and they look at you saying “it’s okay, don’t get mad, I just peed on your favorite pair of leather shoes and I ate most of your book collection. Really, it’s your fault for having them. You can’t hate me for your own mistakes. Now rub my belly.” Some people think that cats are more evil and conniving that dogs, but puppies are the worst. Puppies are those annoying pretty girls who cry or flaunt their boobies to get out of speeding tickets and/or grand larceny. Fucking puppies. They don’t even taste good.
I must say that my undying hate for how cute puppies are DOES NOT interpret that puppies are hated by me. Just that the cuteness is so frustrating that I hate it.

But well done, well done. Cats still are more conniving than dogs because puppies don't know, understand, or even give a damn what kind of trouble they're in. Other than that, yes. They are so like those boobie-flaunters on the side of the highway. Like Peter Griffin.