February 5th, 2003

Dr. Bunny

(no subject)

T.S. Eliot said that "April is the cruelest month," well ya know what?


February is the worst month. Period. No ifs ands or buts. February is God's way of showing people who don't drink what a hangover feels like. There's just cosmic force that makes February plain old sucky. And it's not the fact that Valintiens day is in it. That's not the problem. I love Valentine's day. I think it's keen and rather sweet. I hold no animosity towards it at all. Just February sucks.

For the past four years, I have had a breakdown in Feb. My freshman year I just fell apart. My sophmore year, my roommate Sarah and I had a huge fight, she ended up moving, and I ended up sobbing on the floor of my bedroom, eyeing my advil bottle (I quickly got up and went to the counceling center). Last year things with my housemates just escalated and I spent many nights in my room crying. This year, the breakdown came early, and to avoid causing any more stress to my current rommates, I am moving out.

Right now, I feel like a failure. Like I can't live with anybody. It's not that hard to be constantly clean, I should know this. And I try, but I'm absent minded. I get distracted. There's just so much more to life than a clean and spotless room. If I was a guy, this would be okay. Guys are expected to be kinda dirty. But not girls. NOT GIRLS. There must be more females out there who just don't like to clean, who actually like to live and not worry if there is a spot of dirt on the floor. Or if the godforsaken doormat is dirty.