February 28th, 2003

Dr. Bunny

One Day More. . .

Tomorrow we'll discover
What our God in heaven has in store
One more dawn
One more day
One day more!

The last day of February is fast approaching. Can you hear the enthusiam in my voice? Oh I am so happy that this dreaded month is almost over. It was funny though, I made the comment today in my German class about how much I hate this god awful month and I got all these stares like "Holy fuck! How can you think that?!?!?" Sorry, but February just sucks ass.

But actually, it doesn't have to. I had been looking at February all wrong. February is my way of remembering how good I have it now as compared to about 6 or 7 years ago when I was a horrible depressed mess of emotions. I'm better now, I am more stable, more incontrol of my emotions and how I feel. February is a month of reflection, to remember how I was, and how I am now. It's a month to medidtate on life.

It's awfully strange. Sometimes I long for thoes days back in highschool. I felt everything back then. Unfortunatly, a lot of those feelings were sad ones, but everything seemed to tangible back then. Everything that I touched, or touched me was amplified to the extreams. I could cry back then. In an odd way, I felt more alive then than I do now. I don't know what to make of that. I know I wouldn't go back to those years for a million dollars and a book deal, but there were these feelings of being. . . well. . . being more connected to life than I have ever been. Have I built up a shield around me to protect me from being sad again? Have I just stopped feeling things that I don't want to feel, even if I should? I know this doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but it's true. I want to feel the electricity I felt in life. I don't want to be numb any more.

In other news, I have finished my personal essay on Zoe Trope and my short fiction on Cinderella for the lit awards. I don't know what to do about poetry, but I still have 'til 5:00pm tomorrow to crank something out. The Louisa poem is a definate, and I have a poem about my dad that I've been working on. I just wish I had more time. There are so many things that need to be worked on that I don't know what to do. I might just submit my fairy tale as is and see what happeneds. Yeah, there's still problems with it, but it's a bit more finished than my cinderella story (which has, by far, the best title I have ever come up with: "Altocalciphilia." Mad brownie points if you can tell me what this means. Sam, you don't get to guess, you already know it).

As always, I don't know how the lit awards will go. I've been moving up in the ranks over the years, but compition has been pretty easy. I know that's a really horrible thing to say, but when there are only 5 other stories to pick from. . . well, yeah. I need to start actually trying to submit these stories and poems, BUT TO WHERE!?!?!??!?!?!?!
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    Carmen - Paula Cole
Dr. Bunny

I'm DAAAAAAAAAAAAANCIN' like a monkey!

Before we fly into today's friday five, a bit of news.

I finished my submissions to the lit awards. Now comes the wonderful thing all writers go through, the waiting period. Will I be accepted or rejected? Does it even mater? YES OF COURSE IT MATTERS! I mean, duh! Well, no, it doesn't. I don't know. I'm having a libra moment, can you tell? Anyhoot, on with the show...

1. What is your favorite type of literature to read (magazine, newspaper, novels, nonfiction, poetry, etc.)?
I love science fiction/fantasy. Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman are probably my favorite authors. Close behind them are Orson Scott Card, Anne McCaffery, and Connie Willis. I do read other genres as well, but primarily I stick with the afore mentioned.

2. What is your favorite novel?
I could never pick just one, that's so darn hard for me. I will try to list a few though (I'll keep it short)
a. East of Eden by John Steinbeck. Whenever I get lonesome for California, I read it and remember why I had to leave. I think Steinbeck makes it obvious that somepeople are meant to live there, and some people arn't. California can be a real lonely place if you don't have a lot of friends, and I think he artfully shows this.
b. Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett. This was the first book I read by Pratchett, and it's what made me fall in love with the whole Discworld series. Pratchett has alot of fun with the idea of death in this book, and it's fantastic. LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?
c. American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Wonderful. Simply wonderful. That's it. Wonderful.
d. Prentice Alvin by Orson Scott Card. So far my favorite book in the series. Not sure why, probably because I like Peggy so much. It's a very focused book, I feel, much more than the others in the series.
e. On The Road by Jack Kerouac. Just read it. If you havn't, you don't know jazz, you don't know poetry, you don't know American history. Go, read it now. NOW DAMNIT!

3. Do you have a favorite poem?
Yes, actually. It's kinda odd though. I mean, yes, I LOVE Robert Browning's Soliloquy of the Spanish Cloister, and America by Alan Ginsburg, but this one, it's just right. I don't know who it's by. I think it was just by "anon" But it's called Romeo and Juliette, and for some reason, it's my favorite.
If you will die for me, I will die for you
And our graves will be like two lovers
Washing their clothes together.
If you bring the quaters,
I'll bring the bleach.


4. What is one thing you've always wanted to read, or wish you had more time to read?
*sigh* Confession time. I have barely read any of "the classics." Everybody else have, but not me. I guess I would want to go and read anything by Chaucer, Milton, Dante, Austen, Br�nte, yeah, the list goes on. BUT! I have read Moby Dick! I can be an english professor!

5. What are you currently reading?
Um, a whole lot of stuff. The middle book of Otherland by Tad Williams. Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett. Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey. And some random fairy tales for class.
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