June 4th, 2003

Dr. Bunny

AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!

It's official, I am insane.

Driving back from Game Informer (where I dropped off my portfolio), I had a full argument in my head with another person. This argument never actually happened, and yet I was near hysterics while having it in my head. I was close to tears, but maybe that's due to other reasons.

Perhaps the reason I was so upset was because this argument will never happen. The things I need to have said outloud will never get said, and if they are, will never be heard. And then the person I would be arguing with will never tell me what they are actually feeling, so those things will never get said. It angers me, it frustrates me, it's like beating my head against a wall.

Of course, I'm the kind of person who believes in arguing. Maybe not yelling, but fighting. I find that when the adrenalyn (yeah, I can't spell) gets flowing, and things get heated up, things actually get said. But then, I know that when the arguement gets too intence, I shut down, and perhaps other people shut down sooner. But when they shut down, they shut down completly, and then don't talk about anything.

Gaaah, I'm just insane. But damnit, sometimes I don't think I'm the only one.
  • Current Music
    The voices screaming in my head. Well, not quite screaming....