September 22nd, 2003

Dr. Bunny

boys boys boys....

Relationships are abounding. Well, actually, they seem to be falling apart. Chris and Demona broke up after two years. Sandy's having issues with her guy friend. There's a general sense of "Boys are Stupid, throw rocks at them. Men should know better, hurl boulders at them." And four months ago, I would be right there with them. Hurling boulders, adding my own tales of woe (and lemme tell you, I had a good couple of tales).

But now, I don't.

It's strange, all through high school and collage, the one thing I really really wanted was to be in a relationship. I felt that there was something missing, something that perhaps a relationship could fix. Also, I was just lonely, wanting the validation that a relationship brings.

Of course, all of those are not really good reasons to be in a relationship. But then I realize I don't really want a relationship, It's been said of me before that I am in love with being in love. And yeah, I think that's right. I totally dig the concept of love and a relationship, but when it comes right down to it, I am SO not ready for one. But who knows, maybe you're never fully ready for a relationship. It could just blind side you without warning, something that you arn't prepared for. I dunno.

I guess all I want is something that could last for two weeks, end, maybe start again for another two weeks, end for a month or so. I'm too indepedant for my own darn good. I don't want anything long term. I don't want to have to worry. I want my life to be a CAKE song damnit! *chuckles*.

I dunno. I will probably always lust after guys, concoct wonderful dreams and stories about them that will most likely end up in my romance novel. But I am actually rather content not having a boyfriend. As odd as that may sound.