September 27th, 2003

Dr. Bunny

I need a social life

I cannot spend another friday night in the tub with a romance novel then wrapped in a towel watching lifetime made for TV movies. This is NOT how a growing adult should behave. Not in a city that has clubs and bars and theaters and art exhibits and PEOPLE.

I am unsure why I am hessitant to call people, make plans, do things. I feel shy, and somehow my little apartment will sheild me from the world, the world that I am failing at.

Okay, that sounds WAY to pessimistic and dramatic for my tastes, way to depressed. That is SO not who I am.

But I don't know. I just don't know. I need to be writing more. The pirate novel has started to blossom with characters that I am enjoying. I have yet to pick a setting, however. It may be in the caribbean, but it may yet be on the atlantic coast in colonial america. All I know is that I need to work on the Heroine (Christina Bonnet - is that a good name? Do you people like it? Im not to sure) more because I don't know how much I like her yet. And I should like her a lot. She needs to be a strong female capable of carrying the novel. Right now I am so fixated on the Pirate Captain (One oh-so-savvy Elijah Swift) and his nemesis, the dreaded Navy Captain (who has yet to be named. Any help here? He has to be tremedously evil). I am excited though, I wonder if I can ACTUALLY write this novel. Who wants to help read it chapter by chapter? I need test audiences!

AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! I'M TURNING INTO A ROMANCE NOVELIST! That's not how I want to end up! It's so...well, it's not low brow, I mean not if I'm getting published. But golly, when people thing of romance novel writers, it's sappy middle aged women. Augh! I'm making stereotypes! *slaps her self silly* Bad Meg! Bad Meg! BAD MEG!!

But what am I to do? I dunno. Why is it so hard to do what I want and not worry how other people will view me?

And oh man, Vern from Trading Spaces is SO DAMN HOT