I've been having some spiritual/ethical issues lately...

I am pro-life. It's hard to be pro-life these days because it is SO un-PC and as a woman, don't I want the women's movement to succeed? Don't I want control over my reproductive rights? I mean - that's MY uterus we're talking about and who are a bunch of old white men to say if I want to scrap out the insides that's against the law?

Except - I don't see it as that. I do believe that's a life growing inside a woman. The moment the sperm and egg connect there is an amazing amount of activity going on. Cells divide, things start to form, a life is created and it's a life dependent on the mother.

Okay, they say, it may be dependent, but it doesn't think. It doesn't breathe, it's just another part of your body. It doesn't have a soul yet. It can't operate outside the body, it can't do anything.

But that's not the point. THe point is that it IS alive. To kill that, to terminate it, that's murder. Murder for reasons such as "I can't have this baby now, it would screw up everything." "I can't have this baby because I don't want to be a mother." "It was one drunken night." "The condom broke." "Why didn't my bc work?"

But there are other reasons too, sadder reasons. "I was raped." "I will die if I have this baby." "I can't afford any of the medical costs or the costs of raising a child."

I am in no ways a fan of abortion. Granted - if I were to find myself pregnant at this point in my life, it would seriously screw things over for me, but that doesn't mean I have the right to destroy a life because it's inconvienent.

What I'm not a big fan of is that as a woman, it seems that I'm supposed to be Pro-Choice, and if I'm not it's obviously because I've been brainwashed by the virgin pervy priests of The Catholic Church who want to put women in their place where they belong (LIES!).

I'm sorry - but could my battle cry of freedom NOT be "Let me have the rights to murder"? PLEASE? Could I fight my battle for equality, better pay, something positive and worth wile other than something distructive?

Where I stand is that while I am opposed to abortion, I understand that we cannot simply make it illegal. The moment we do that there will be so many back alley abortions set up which put not just the unborn child into danger, but also the mother. Two lives instead of one. That's defeating the purpose.

Instead - how about we make it so that abortion is not a viable excuse. Money for women who need it for the hospital costs, better information about the adoption process, a change of society so that unwed mothers are not thought of as daughters of sin and satan that are covered with hideous warts and become social outcasts. It's just an idea.

I guess what I've been realising is the same thing I understand about the gay marriage issue. To many, abortion is a religious issue - it's what their church tells them. For me, it's a moral issue, it's what I believe. But I understand that people don't believe the same that I do. That to them it's not a life inside a woman. It's just a thing and nothing more. That's why this is a hard issue to deal with. I can't say one thing about marriage and then another about abortion that when you come down to it, is really the same issue all over again.

I guess that what I really wish, what I truly truly want, is that I don't have to feel like I'm doing sever damage to the women's movement because I don't think campainging for reproductive rights (and really - when you have another life inside you, it's not just your rights anymore) is a worthy cause. It's a bunch of women saying "I want to be able to commit legalized murder and call it my inborn female right! DON'T HOLD ME BACK!"

Can we please pick something else to rally around that doesn't make us look like psychos? Please?

Of course - a good argument could be made for personal responsibility - something that everybody knows how much I love. Sure, give us our reproductive rights and trust that we make the right decision with it. Trust that we as women can decide what's right for our bodies.

But common women, while this is stagnating because nobody can give an inch, can we do something else with our time? Or do we have to continue to fight with each other about who's more concerned with women's rights? The Pro-Choicer or the Pro-Lifer?