February 9th, 2006

Dr. Bunny

Cleveland Trade Show Day 4: Attack of the Porn

This is how my day started and is, quite possibly, one of the funniest things lately in that schadenfreude type of way...

Next to me at the trade show is a company (name withheld to protect the innocent) that sells golf landscapes from home outdoor use. Debbie is the lady who normally works there and we have been watching each other's booths when one of us needs a walk about or a bathroom break. Today, however, Debbie wasn't there.

At about 11:30, a woman, dressed in an amazing gold jacket and bronze corset top, starts setting up her booth and is taking out the dvds they have on display. She is unwrapping each one. I ask her where Debbie is.
"Oh, she's at our other booth today. There's a bit of an emergency."

I see that she is fast running out of space for her dvds and ask if she would like to use the top of our dumpster, which is covered with a piece of plexiglass. She motions for me to come over and tells me what is going on....

Yesterday, someone had accidently stolen one of the dvds, thinking they were free, not sold for $3. He had come back today to return it because when he had viewed the DVD, it was not a golf tape. It was an adult video.

Now this woman is in the booth, frantically opening all the dvds (about 50 or so) so she can view them to make sure they are, in fact, about putting on the green and not...not...okay, I'm totally drawing a blank for a good euphamism, but you get the point. I go over there to help her open all of these. I can see my booth from hers and go over if there are any visitors.

In her booth she has a dvd projector. She puts the dvd in, finger on the stop button and watches. First dvd - golfing. Yay. 2nd dvd - golfing. Good sign! 5th dvd - a big red FBI notice on the screen. STOP!!! So I open the cases (slicing my finger at one time) and she checks them.

Now behind my booth is a short middle aged guy who sells fountain landscapes, and he comes over to see what's going on. The lady tells him the story and he starts to help unwrap the dvds but asks her if he could have one.

"You know - my wife is coming in to town this weekend and...uh...we've been married 11 years ifyaknowwhatimean...."

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...........she politly tells him she needs to send them back to the manufacturer. He keeps asking. Jokingly, of course...

of course....

All in all she found 15 dvds out of about 40 or 50 that we opened.

Line of the night: "You know, back when I was a kid, porn was different. It had a plot line."

One day left to go and I can sleep in my own bed. Aaaaaaaaaawright.......