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It's Wednesday night and you know what that means. You dim the lights and turn on the TV for an hour of bliss.

In this hour:
We learn the plight of Nigerians.

It kind of sucks to be catholic on this show.

After this episode, half of the audience runs over screen caps of Mr. Eko's jesus stick and scours their bible for the references. The other half scours the net. Priests are woken up in the middle of the night asked what the importance of Timothy is.

Charlie seriously needs to shut the fuck up. I love him because I love hobbits. I have a hobbit habit, okay? But seriously. Charlie standing on the beach singing The Kinks to the fish. Charlie always going "hey hey hey, what's this? Huh? What's going on? Can I come? Please?" Charlie is the ultimate five year old little brother. It's sweet yet horribly annoying in a away. And WHAT the FUCK is he planning to do with all the heroin? Personally - I think he's trying to set up his own little army of virgin Marys to defeat the others.

Also - what have we been scared of for the past year? A GIANT CLOUD OF POORLY CGI'd BLACK SMOKE. SCREW YOU ABRAMS.

Either way: Old 'n Busted = Locke. New Hawtness = Eko. That's MISTER Eko to you.

And this? THIS is his JESUS stick!

(someone find me a picture of his Jesus stick, okay?)
So..."walk through the shadow of the valley of death" Is what they said.

Is there anything to that, or do the writers not know their psalms?

Personally, I didn't find Charlie all that annoying this episode. He's actually got some curiousity, although all the other characters ignore him. And singing the Kinks is better than singing DriveShaft.

I bet he's using though. Biting the heads off the Marys and sucking out the Holy Spirit inside. Then grabbing a new one to replace it.

Locke and Eko should either form a superhero team or have a fight. Or just kiss already.

I am sure that Locke/Eko slash has already been writen and is floating around the internet somewhere. I'll also put money that it's terribly kinky and involves the Jesus stick in ways that was never intended.

Like I said - Charlie is like the five year little brother. He lies like a child would, he asks questions like a child would, he is like a child in a way. If we don't get a character growth Charlie episode pretty soon, I'm going to cry.

Sometimes I think the writers fuck things up on purpose just so we can be all "was that an error or do they MEAN something?!?!?!?!" because there's an image in an earlier episode where MRI ends with "imagining" instead of "imaging" and people were all OMGWTFSPELLING

Dude, how hot is Eko? Super, super hot. He was, if possible, even hotter as an evil drug lord, with the cornrows and the evil and all. He's got a great voice too. And, of course, a Jesus stick.

As to the cloud of black smoke.... I have no idea. Are they disappointing us on purpose? Like, are they going to come up with some super cool twist to the smoke later on, and we'll be all, "Wow, I can't believe I ever thought that was lame!"? Cuz Locke saw it, and said he'd seen "into the eye of the island" (or whatever quasi-mystical crap he said about it), but that doesn't really mean he knows what it means or where it came from. I'm so confused! (C'mon, kids, sing the traditional Lost folksong of confusion)

I think I would have been more annoyed with Charlie if I didn't still have residual hobbit-love for him. If he keeps up the trend he's on, though, he might run through my stash, and then who knows what'll happen. I'm trying to think of a way that having a stockpile of herion-filled Virgin Marys will save the day down the line, but I'm really not coming up with anything. Poor dumb Charlie.