Just what, exactly,
did Raul Ibañez to do you
to cause your unbridled hatred?
When you were twelve did he
steal your lunch money and punch
you in the junk?
Or did he kill your father only after
forcing you to listen to "Bad Day" on repeat
for 7 days straight?
No - such hatred that would cause you
to stand up, en masse, at his first at bat
could only stem from the time he ran over your dog
and then peed on its corpse.
But it could be that you and he
shared a moment, beautiful and pure
in a star lit field and then
he never called you
or returned your calls
and when you passed one day on the street
he looked away.
In the fifth inning Ibañez plucked
Mauer's fly ball out of the sky
like he plucked your virginity.
Graceful, beautiful, ruthless.
Now sit down and shut the fuck up.