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1) Weekend in Milwaukee was a lot of fun. The farmers market was really pretty and I got some delicious smelling soap. The museum was educational and the exhibit on Ancient Chinese Astronomy was well put together. The water clock was really fun. Science of Sleep was very interesting, but not as interesting as the quietly crotchety old man in the lobby of the Oriental who told us all the movies were bad and followed us. The Covenant was exactly what I expected but they lose A LOT of points for using the term "Wi-ATCH!" Bad move, bad bad move. Morgan Manor was fantastic - they put us in a holding cell while we waited, and while we waited we sang "100 severed heads on the wall" until someone jumped in our cell with us causing me to scream like a little girl. They actually filmed us as we went through the haunted house, laughing, screaming, stumbling around in darkness and cracking jokes with the players. I think they had about as much fun as we did! Mo - sorry we didn't hook up, maybe next time!

2) I HAVE PLANS FOR NEW YEARS!!! I will be going to Milwaukee and seeing CAKE live at the Riverside with Carolyn!! We're excited and I think it's going to be a lot of fun. PLUS! CAKE! NEW YEARS! W00T!!!

3) At noon today, we cleared the board and set up the score card for the playoff game. I had the scoreboard up on my computer and would glance at it occasionally and we would update the board. I really wish I could have watched it - it must have been a true pitcher's duel. The first game I saw here in the cities was with Zito pitching, and he threw like he had a bus to catch. A's are off to a good start but it's hard to say how this will end.

4) I think I'm kind of afraid of losing all this weight. Seriously. I know how to be the fat girl. I know how to be invisible because no one wants to look at me too long or stare at the fat chick. I know how to be comfortable and blend in. This is all I know how to be. I don't know how to be a skinny girl and I wonder, foolish as it sounds, if somehow I will change. Like I won't be the same girl I am now. I'm afraid of that change more than anything. I know it's silly and all, but it's true. I don't know how to be anything than what I am, and I wonder how much of what I am is because I grew up overweight.

5) I really, really, REALLY am enjoying Studio 60. I love the writing and the pacing and the acting. I love the whole meta feel of it. However, I don't really like Harriet. I don't know if it's her character or the actress playing her, but I find her boring and...well...not as talented and funny as everybody says she's supposed to be. I like everybody else, just not her. So - who knows, I'll still be watching the show. I think Matthew Perry is doing a GREAT job.

That struck me as an interesting statement, from a personal perspective. It's kind of odd, when I gain weight, even just a little bit, I feel more visible, more out there, like I can't hide myself. Losing weight is a mechanism for me to become invisible, in a way. (WOW, that was a mini-epiphany for me, and I think it's something I personally need to keep in mind.)

That said, I can see where you are coming from. It's easy to get comfortable with your life being one way, and becoming afraid to change that. I've become very accepting of huge life transitions (geography, relationships, jobs, school, etc. in my case), especially over the past few years, but it always involves an element of nervousness. Yes, people will notice your weight loss. They probably will comment. And yes, strangers may react differently than they did before (I know my mother said she felt like she was treated MUCH better by random strangers after she lost weight -- but I think that had much more to do with the change in her general attitude toward life during the same time -- she did SO much more than lose weight...so it probably wouldn't be as drastic for you). But, essentially, your body is a shell. Who you are as a person is not going to change. What you can do may change, your attitudes may change, but you will still be Meg, whether or not you weigh 95 or 500 pounds. You are changing your life, and the person who you are may be evolving as well (all of us are evolving as individuals -- self is never static), but I guarantee you that who you are FUNDAMENTALLY as a human being will not dissappear. To the people who love you, you will still the good person they know you to be, just a good person who happens to have made a decision to make a drastic life change.

Anyhoo, just my two cents.