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Today was my 24th weigh in with Dr. Carol and I'm proud to say that I have lost 4.5 pounds this week, bringing me to a total of 77 pounds. I have lost OVER 25% of my original body mass. I've lost the equivalent of a severely anorexic teenaged girl who, every time she looks in a mirror, must think that she looks like me. Kind of scary, isn't it?

Today I had a hershey kiss. Just one. I didn't need it, and I knew I didn't need it when I decided to have one. But I'm being a girl this week and I wanted the delight that a single hershey chocolate kiss.

And because I am diligent in making sure I am aware of what I'm putting into my body, I looked up the nutritional data for it so I could put it into my food journal. A hershey kiss has 25 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 protein, and 3 grams of carbs Let's compare that to my steamed broccoli I had 2 weeks ago. That serving had 28 calories, 0 fat, 3 grams of protein and 5 carbs.

So what's the difference? Did that hershey kiss I have screw up my diet? Destroy my weeks of hard work and dedication? Throw me off my game plan? Make me wallow in guilt for enjoy a bit of chocolate delights?

Not at all.

But it did make me more thoughtful. That serving of broccoli I had was amazing. It was delicious and tender and there was quite a lot in that little serving, filled with happy nutrients and it filled my stomach. That little hershey kiss I had was, well, LITTLE. It was tiny - barely any weight to it all. It didn't do anything for my appetite (although it did make me a bit woozy like I had just downed 24 pixie sticks and made me even a bit hungrier, too) but, in it's own way, was every bit as gratifying as that broccoli, just in a different way.

The kiss is an immidiately gratifying treat. The broccoli is a well earned treat. The kiss I wanted because I missed chocolate. The broccoli I had because I knew it was a good choice for me and tasty.

In the end, it all comes down to about 30 calories that I can easily afford and I don't feel guilty or bad for it. But those 30 calories made me think about what fills me and what fulfills my desires. Knowing those things, knowing where the balance lays between excess want and desire is important.

The hershey kiss was good, nothing to write home about, even though I ate it slow. The broccoli was delicious and tasty and wonderful.

Will I choose a kiss over broccoli again? I might - it depends on how I'm feeling that day. Will I ever feel bad about that choice? Probably not - unless I'm choosing chocolate over broccoli every single day, and then obviously I'm not thinking about what I'm doing. Will other people make me feel guilty if I have that chocolate? Some will probably try and I have no idea why - FOR GODS SAKE PEOPLE, IT'S JUST CHOCOLATE. And besides, it's my body, not yours. Of all the things people could compare, why compare diets? Puh-leeeeeeeze.

And now - a picture of a 77 pound fish

Now remind me all to tell you about my creepy stalker sometime.
these fishies are starting to scare me.
They are a little scary - I'd switch to dogs or other animals, but with fish you just get such a great image!

My friends are telling me I need to post shark pictures next.
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see above comment :-P I'm looking for shark pictures. Maybe when I hit 80lbs I'll find one.
Damn, i wish I could loss that much! keep up the awesome awesome work!
>Now remind me all to tell you about my creepy stalker sometime.

No, we all know about your brother. Not that one. Or that one. Yeah, the third one your family kept chained in the attic.
Just for the record I want you to know we kept him chained in the crawl space below the house and not in the attic. All the clumping around in the attic just didn't work - the whining, the clumping, the slamming around of boxes and old computer monitors. It just got out of hand. So we moved him down under the house with a hose and some lures to bring in opposums, roof rats and other vermin. Worked too - but now that he's gotten away they're starting to re-infest the area. Don't know how he got to Minnesota but beware of someone with wooly hair, a beard, wild eyes, who writes particularly bad fiction, usually in red "ink". Tried like heck to break him of that....but he just kept chewing. Used lots of paper too, sigh.
i wanna hear about the creepy stalker!