Log in

No account? Create an account
Recent Entries Friends Archive Profile ScrapBook my other bloggy thingy
Even though money is getting a bit tight, I ordered this shirt today because I think it's a fitting reminder of who I am. I don't get the leading man at the end of the movie (although I might get his sidekick). I do, however, get to scene steel like a mofo, deliver some of the best lines, and probably be more emotionally sound than the leading lady.

It's frustrating to know that even 100 pounds loss doesn't make me any more appealing to boys. I still have my aggressive personality. I'm still independent, almost to a fault. I don't drag my problems on the ground like a lame wing triggering the "injured animal" mechanism most guys seem to have. But then, I don't know how to play this game. Everybody else has had a lot more practice and I don't think I'm even on the same board. They're playing Risk, with multitudes of plastic roman numerals scattered across the better part of Asia and Europe, completely neglecting the southern hemisphere (even though Australia is the best place to start). Meanwhile, I think I'm playing Parcheesi which almost nobody knows about so I'm left alone, rolling the dice in the cardboard cup just to hear that sweet and hollow sound while I move my little wooden pieces across a board that few people recognize.

I was disillusioned to think that things would be different. It still doesn't deter me from my weight loss goal because my health is more important to me. But it's a sad realization that there is, I suppose, something fundamentally UN-DATABLE about me. I'm not compassionate enough. I'm not serious enough. Maybe I'm too smart or too outgoing. Or too loud or too abrasive. Perhaps I'm too open or maybe I'm too closed up.

• But I'm not going to help people I have a crush on date my friends. I don't need that pain.

• I'm not going to wallow in self pity. Consider this my 24 hours of bitterness. I'll be great this time tomorrow.

• I'm not giving up but I'm seeing things in a new light.

• Who wants to play parcheesi with me? It's an excellent game and you get to count a lot.
I felt the same way until I met Diana. My advice, keep playing Parcheesi (whatever that is...)
Parcheesi is a wonderful board game where you get to move pieces around, bump off the other players, make blockcades, and shake dice in little cardboard tubes. I have a game - we should play sometime. However, I don't have cardboard tubes to shake the dice in :(
Oh, and I mean that in the ACTUAL sense of "hey, let's play parcheesi" not in the metaphorical sense :-P
Sorry! is based on Parchesi
Not wallowing is good, a little bit is totally ok and understandable.

I think that trying to change anything to make yourself more "dateable" will just make you date jerks. Cause do you really want to date the guy who only wants the altered version of you?

(Oh and some people are more "dateable" but I'm not sure what it is, I know someone who is agressively unattractive but always has men clinging to her. I don't know why. She's not that interesting, she's dull and way over emotional. She does however...put out and put herself out there. She's on every damn dating site online and in papers. Dating and sex isn't a hobby it's her full time job, just with out the money. Do you want to be that girl?*)

*No. Trust me. No.
Are you sure you aren't http://www.cafepress.com/typecastedshop.24784497
Oh dear lord I think I'm about to become


(hehe this site is fun :) yay fun!)
It is a great site! I did order plucky comic relief, but I think quirky misfit will be in the cards when I get my first paycheck. I can TOTALLY save the world while not wearing pants. I also kind of want "kungfu drifter"

I also don't know what makes a person datable or not. Most of the time I try not to think or worry about it, but days like these happen and all my frustrations come bubbling up to the surface.
Everytime I get an idea about dateable or not it gets blown out of the water so I generally don't worry about it.

I think the key thing to remember is you only need to find one good guy. (Unless you have other plans in which case stop being so damn greedy!)

But really I'm the last person who should be giving relationship advise. Hehe. Oy!
I love parcheesi! Mmmm, blockades and 20 extra moves when you send someone back to start... I want to play now!

There seriously are boys who want an actual woman instead of a whiny little Barbie doll. Not many of them, but there are some. I don't know where to find them, but they do exist.
Everytime I think I find one, they always end up wanting the girl who looks like she fell out of an anime. I'm keeping my spirits up but today's my day to mope around the house until I get to work.

Hooray for knowing about parcheesi!! My family would play tournaments every christmas and new years. Don't you love doubles?
Ooooh, doubles are awesome. They lead to bouncing other players.

*hug hug hug* Silly boys.
*hugs back* thanks - and I'm sorry things aren't all peachy in your life, too. I really hope things get better =/

Family fights were once started due to blockades. Things would get bad.
Wow, can I ever relate.

For me, I thought it was just that I was unattractive. Then I decided it wasn't that, it was that I lacked self-esteem. Then once I had that, it was that I have nothing in common with anyone because of my weird-ass interests and philosophies.

Maybe it's just that I'm over-thinking it, and girls can sense it and it makes them nervous. Hm.. maybe it's that I'm neurotic. =)
I actually do have a pretty good self esteem but I still don't know what's going on. Maybe I'm too independant and guys like to feel needed or feel like they can be the protectors?

What I need is what my coworker calls "PSC" - Platonic Spooning Companions.
Dude. It's not that you're not datable, it's that you're not dating. Big difference. I, for example, am a damn fine catch, but I haven't been on a date in > 3 years — and I haven't been on a date with a truly decent guy since I moved to town. In 1993. (That includes a 4-year marriage, btw. Bad idea.)

What I'm trying to say is that "nondate" isn't WHO YOU ARE, it's WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE. These are very separate things. We may not be meeting eligible bachelors, but that's not a character flaw. It simply . . . is.
It does seem like most guys want a fixer up'er. I don't know.

Let's play Parcheesi. I heart that game, it's the game that sorry and trouble ripped off. It's also the reason my grades slipped my sophomore year at SNC as I had found a site that had Parcheesi online.
I'm soory. I'd play parcheesi with you, but I don't know how. *hugs*
*hugs* Men suck. And I'm sure you'll find one who doesn't.

And hey, just think of it this way -- I'm currently dealing with a possessive, controlling, unstable EX boyfriend who cheated on me, doesn't want to be with me (he initiated the breakup), but is mad that I've started to think about dating again, and is blaming me for the fact that he's feeling totally shitty right now (he claims that I'm feeling better because he let me lean on him -- which of course "ruined his chances" of being with the girl who he cheated on me, is the reason why he is doing shitty this term, etc. According to him, everything bad in his life right now is my fault. I couldn't actually be feeling better because I LET GO and STOPPED RELYING ON HIM EMOTIONALLY. NO, NOT AT ALL). Also, who "punishes" me for changing my top friends on myspace (to all scientists, by the way -- I had my friend Phil as my #1 friend as a completely tongue-in-cheek thing, and he FLIPPED OUT) by putting me on facebook limited profile (real mature for a 26 year old, eh?).

Would you want that? The correct answer is "no."

I do hope you find someone, but I hope when you find someone, that someone is GOOD. I also apologize if I just used your journal as rantspace (I actually deleted about half of what I wrote because I realized what I was doing :-P), but I guess my point is that dating can be extremely drama inducing, time consuming, and tiring, and that I hope that you get to skip all that. May you find someone who deserves you as much as you deserve him.
it just takes a while to find someone you're compatible with. It doesn't mean you're not dateable or unattractive. It just means that sometimes we find ourselves attractive to people who aren't interested in us that way in return. It happens to all of us. And it sucks every time it does.

Emotional connections are periously hard to make and even worse to maintain.