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Even though money is getting a bit tight, I ordered this shirt today because I think it's a fitting reminder of who I am. I don't get the leading man at the end of the movie (although I might get his sidekick). I do, however, get to scene steel like a mofo, deliver some of the best lines, and probably be more emotionally sound than the leading lady.

It's frustrating to know that even 100 pounds loss doesn't make me any more appealing to boys. I still have my aggressive personality. I'm still independent, almost to a fault. I don't drag my problems on the ground like a lame wing triggering the "injured animal" mechanism most guys seem to have. But then, I don't know how to play this game. Everybody else has had a lot more practice and I don't think I'm even on the same board. They're playing Risk, with multitudes of plastic roman numerals scattered across the better part of Asia and Europe, completely neglecting the southern hemisphere (even though Australia is the best place to start). Meanwhile, I think I'm playing Parcheesi which almost nobody knows about so I'm left alone, rolling the dice in the cardboard cup just to hear that sweet and hollow sound while I move my little wooden pieces across a board that few people recognize.

I was disillusioned to think that things would be different. It still doesn't deter me from my weight loss goal because my health is more important to me. But it's a sad realization that there is, I suppose, something fundamentally UN-DATABLE about me. I'm not compassionate enough. I'm not serious enough. Maybe I'm too smart or too outgoing. Or too loud or too abrasive. Perhaps I'm too open or maybe I'm too closed up.

• But I'm not going to help people I have a crush on date my friends. I don't need that pain.

• I'm not going to wallow in self pity. Consider this my 24 hours of bitterness. I'll be great this time tomorrow.

• I'm not giving up but I'm seeing things in a new light.

• Who wants to play parcheesi with me? It's an excellent game and you get to count a lot.
Not wallowing is good, a little bit is totally ok and understandable.

I think that trying to change anything to make yourself more "dateable" will just make you date jerks. Cause do you really want to date the guy who only wants the altered version of you?

(Oh and some people are more "dateable" but I'm not sure what it is, I know someone who is agressively unattractive but always has men clinging to her. I don't know why. She's not that interesting, she's dull and way over emotional. She does however...put out and put herself out there. She's on every damn dating site online and in papers. Dating and sex isn't a hobby it's her full time job, just with out the money. Do you want to be that girl?*)

*No. Trust me. No.
Are you sure you aren't http://www.cafepress.com/typecastedshop.24784497
Oh dear lord I think I'm about to become


(hehe this site is fun :) yay fun!)
It is a great site! I did order plucky comic relief, but I think quirky misfit will be in the cards when I get my first paycheck. I can TOTALLY save the world while not wearing pants. I also kind of want "kungfu drifter"

I also don't know what makes a person datable or not. Most of the time I try not to think or worry about it, but days like these happen and all my frustrations come bubbling up to the surface.
Everytime I get an idea about dateable or not it gets blown out of the water so I generally don't worry about it.

I think the key thing to remember is you only need to find one good guy. (Unless you have other plans in which case stop being so damn greedy!)

But really I'm the last person who should be giving relationship advise. Hehe. Oy!