I regret to inform you that I will probably be writing more and more about food as the weeks go on. While I know some of you have some issues with said subject matter, I need to be honest in this LJ and one of the things I'm going to be honest about is what I'm putting into my body as I learn how to eat again.
You have to understand, friends, that it has been almost a year since I have eaten like a regular human being. Actually, it's probably been longer than that. I don't think I could describe how I ate before as "regular." I inhaled food as it was set before me, sucked it up like a giant vacuum cleaner as if I would never see food again. By eating fast and in large quantities I could stuff my face until I could eat no more. I never gave others a chance to dig in because I hoarded all the food in my gullet.
But now that I have pretty much re-booted my system, it's like I have a full do over. I'm learning to eat again as a child would learn to eat, except now I'm fully conscious about what I'm doing, what I'm consuming, what I'm enjoying. Food is SO MUCH MORE than simply fuel for our bodies. Whether we like it or not, there will always be some emotional attachment to food, be it eating out of stress or even just the memories that a certain food can bring up in our minds. When we eat, we incorporate our sense of smell, taste, sight, even touch and hearing to a small degree. To separate our emotions completely from food would be to deny ourselves of a wonderful experience.
Here's an example: this morning I had a cup of CC&Y with 2oz each of blueberries and raspberries. It was fun to sit at my desk at work and mix the berries in, to watch the raspberries dye the mix red as I stirred it all up. When I took my first bite, it was like eating a Minnesotan summer. I could have been sitting in my grandmother's kitchen, eating berries I had just picked that day, my wrists and ankles still scratched from the thicket. It was a memory so intense despite the fact that it has been YEARS since I've had a meal like that at Grandmother's.
So there's your heads up, folks. There's your warning. I'm not going to LJ cut my entries unless they get super long. I might be posting recipes with their nutritional data included because I think it's really awesome that you can have a full, big, nutritious meal (like the one I had tonight) for less than 500 calories but packed with protein and nutrients. And, what's more, I want people to know that it's EASY and FUN to make these meals, and that you can still count calories and be aware of what your eating WITHOUT developing an unhealthy relationship with food.